the opposite of jaded

  • I failed my May exam. Score hasn’t been released yet but I can bet I got a 5 and was one question away from passing. Passing score’s a 6.
  • I tried Pop Pilates today! It was tough. I’m gonna feel that tomorrow.
  • Ordered an Eat Smart scale this week despite saying I would stop weighing myself obsessively. It’s not working! The scale’s supposed to get here on Monday.

2012’s been a hard year for me so far. I’ll be studying for the entirety of it, minus a couple weeks, and I’ve had zero love life, minimal reading time, practically no writing time. All I’ve done is work, study, have mediocre nights out, and diet/exercise. It’s keeping me going right now. That and makeup and seeing myself in new clothes that would’ve horrified me a couple months ago. I think. It’s so hard to keep perspective because I don’t remember myself just a couple pounds heavier, because we don’t make an effort to look at an undesirable image.

I feel like a train that’s been set in motion and the only option is to keep on going.

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